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TOURIST TRAP

In your late model, air conditioned,
Shiny Cadillac car,
Try not to think about
How meaningless your lives are.
Mommy likes the post cards,
And Daddy likes the bars,
Where he picks up an outside honey.

You cruise around like it’s your living room,
To prove that you’re well heeled.
A vinyl home away from home,
A plastic hype on wheels.
Some people think
That they’re getting a good deal,
Just because they pay a lot of money.

But did you notice there’s a lake here?
It used to be the reason people came here.

There are mountains here too,
And they’re the oldest on the earth.
I’ve known them since I was a child.
Some folks who grew up here
Know what the land is worth,
And they buy it just to keep it wild.

A mountain’s so big you can’t move it,
So the government tries to improve it.

With remains of the railway
To conjure up the past,
And the fake cliff of granite
Where the insects are gassed,
And the shaky lookout tower
Damaged in the blast,
A museum piece catered to wheels.

With a dirt road up the back side,
And a highway wrapped around it,
And a staircase from the parking lot,
And a stone wall to surround it.
Why can’t you leave
A thing of beauty like you found it?
At least the sky is real.

Bathrooms and faucets and fountains,
All the comforts of home on a mountain.

At dawn I watch the sunrise.
It’s the only time I can.
It makes me feel humble and grateful.
But the officers surround me,
And complain to my old man.
There’s no reason to be that hateful.

Maybe I’m bad for business.
But look at the sky, you might miss it.

I’ll take the mountains
And waters and families of deer,
And you take the hot rods
And disco and pitchers of beer,
And the out of tune calliope
I can hear three miles from here.
I measured this out on a map.

I can almost accept it.
The choice is not mine to make.
A prison without walls,
Asphalt and neon and fake.
It keeps them off the mountains,
And it keeps them off the lake.
Hence the name: “tourist trap.”

But did you notice there’s a lake here?
It used to be the reason people came here.

Lake George, New York, 1976

(lyrics co-authored by Bill Kruegler)